Please don't give up....

It is so easy to pretend.

It is so easy to pretend we are ok but inside we feel crushed.

Crushed by the pain of never feeling complete.

Crushed by the feeling that it will never get easier.


We learn to act, we learn to smile but each smile hides a painful memory we would rather forget.

People say we are strong, we don't feel it. 

People say we are brave, we don't believe it.

People say, "look at what you've got".

What they don't know is that we feel guilty every single day for feeling how we do.

We know. We know how "lucky we are". 

If we could change it, we would in a second.

This illness isn't me. It doesn't define me.
 

But we worry, every day.

We worry you will get sick of us one day. Sick of the same old lines, the same old moans.

We lie awake petrified that one day we will be alone.

We get scared that everyone will get fed up of us.

No one knows how hard we try.

No one knows how hard it is to get out of bed each day.

We are not lazy.

We do not choose to feel this way.

We cannot "get over it". Those words break us, did you know?


No one truefully knows but me.

We wish we could turn back time.

We cling onto the hope that one day it will get easier.

It can, it will. It must, surely?

But we need you. We need you to know that we're not always okay.

We need you know that we try.

We need you to know that we would be different, if that were possible.

Please don't leave us. 

Please don't ever give up on us.

Please.

xxx